That day when I sat on my bike and left for home upset from college. I was riding a motorcycle but my mind was entangled in the tangle of problems. The sunlight was slowly decreasing. The day was waning and it was getting evening. In a lot of traffic and noise, my eyes fell on the bus running ahead of me, behind which was written "Truth can be troubled but not defeated". Now why I saw this line at the same time, I don't know whether it was seen by God's will or luck. This line was always visible on one vehicle or the other whenever I roamed around troubled in this city. Sometimes this line was visible while coming and going even when I was not disturbed.
Even after trying a lot, I was not able to join the army. Seeing my hard work and dedication, my friends and people around me also felt that I would definitely succeed in becoming an officer in the army. I had more faith in myself than them that I would definitely succeed and I had left no stone unturned in my preparation. I had worked hard in every way whether it was physical or mental but it is a bitter truth for me that I could not join the army. While trying, the last chance also passed away. In those days, I had convinced myself by thinking that the trouble is over. Neither the army was for me nor I was for the army, however this line or ideology was not mine, these ideologies were of some of my seniors during NCC which I had adopted according to the circumstances. And by adopting this thought, I did not feel sorry for being a failure. While returning after being rejected, I felt that this hassle was over and I was free to do something else in life.
But one of my friends who got rejected along with me was very sad and was talking about despair. I told him explaining that this was my last chance to see me but still I am not disappointed. I will definitely do something good in the future. You still have one more chance. After that we sat in different trains and left for our respective journeys.
By the way, when I think about it even now, it seems that I have saved myself from disappointment, but what about the time that was spent in expectation and preparation. Sometimes it seems that it would have been better to have done something at that time or to have done a vocational course or it would have been better to concentrate on work related to my hobby and start some work, but it is also true that if I had selected in the army, life would have been better. By the way, on being unsuccessful, many such thoughts come that this could have happened, that could have happened, it could have happened like this, it could have happened that way. But nothing can be said for sure about anything. But I didn't give up the army lifestyle. I didn't stop getting up early in the morning and exercising and doing everything on time. But it's true, I was upset.
After coming home, pressure started building on me as to what to do next. Always had to listen to the taunt of unemployment. So I decided that I will do B.Ed. In those days B.Ed. was of only one year. But the trouble did not end there. The college I chose after giving the entrance exam was because there would be no problem of the local language. But it turned out to be just a matter of saying that in that college also the influence of the local language was more. I had not lived in any one place since childhood. That's why I speak Hindi well because in our country Hindi is the only language which has united us countrymen with different languages and this is absolutely true. That's why Hindi is used more because of friends with different languages. And due to not knowing the local language, I could not understand the instructions of the professors, due to which I did not understand many things to be learned and there was always a confused situation in front of me. Sometimes something used to happen that I used to become a laughing stock. I would like to narrate one such incident.
That day was my first internship. After making a lot of enquiries, I reached the school mentioned. The atmosphere of that school was also more influenced by the local language. I was feeling very confused. That day I had to go to teach English in class five. When it was time to teach, I left for the class with all the necessary materials. I asked a man there that where is the fifth class and where is it, then he told in his local language pointing to one side. I walked in the direction told by him.
I entered inside. I saw a bicycle parked outside. I must have thought of a child. I went inside. I thought this is a very strange class, there are sofas to sit here. Moving a little further, I saw that a TV was also kept. Now I understand that I have not entered the class but entered someone's house. I quickly got out of there. A woman came running from behind and asked me in the local language that what do you want, I understood and told that nothing aunty, I had come to teach. She also understood and smilingly said that the class is not here but next to it.
Later, when everyone came to know about this, they all enjoyed this story very much. By the way, when I think about this story, I also laugh a lot. But with the passage of time the problems increased. I was not getting the education that I should have got, only the pressure was increasing, that too mental. The college was also far away from my house. It used to take more than an hour to travel even by motorcycle. Worried, once I thought that after leaving college, I would do some small job. I talked about this in my house but to no avail. I was told that you have already done this much, then do more and you have spent so much money in your admission. It is a different matter that then I had not paid the full fee but had paid a little bit at least. Now after the refusal of the family members, the question of leaving the college was over. Now, no matter what happens, I had to complete college. When I used to sit in the lecture, I used to think that where I am stuck and I used to remember the old days, especially the classes of school days.
It is not that I was the only one with the problem because I did not know the language there. As I told earlier that in those days B.Ed. was of only one year but the syllabus which was there was at least more than two years and the work related to that syllabus on us was just like a big ocean. Have to fill in a small jug. Everyone was very upset and I was more than them as I could not understand the instructions.
It was a long time and my work was also not being completed on time. That's why one day I was called in a meeting in which everyone except one or two professors including the Principal Sir were present just like a round table conference and I was standing in front of it all alone in a relaxed posture. Some things happened related to my work. Things happened but overall pressure was put on me that I should complete the work on time and the whole fault is mine. May be later some things happened in my favor but I can't say anything for sure about this. I felt a kind of insult.
After the class was over, while coming down the stairs, two girls showed some sympathy to me and I kept telling them my sorrows. After getting down and reaching the parking lot, one of them said leave the tension and just kick the scotty, it is not starting. Well, I thought, this was the reason behind the sympathy. Well, when they said so lovingly, I kicked several times and started the scotty. And they said goodbye with love and went away. I thought how much humanity is there in them, it is good that they have shown sympathy, but it is false.
After that I also left on my bike with my sad heart. Thinking in mind that when they knew that I do not know the local language here, then what was the need to give me admission here and I had told them my problem before taking admission. Then why did he say that I will not have this problem here. And the family members are also not agreeing. What do I do now. I'm not wrong, still getting so upset. I was going towards home on my bike drowned in these worries that I saw this line behind the bus going in front of me "Truth can be troubled but not defeated" After seeing this line I didn't get the solution to the problem But definitely got the courage to live life happily with this problem. The problems didn't end but I continued to enjoy the problems that came my way while doing my work. And I kept trying to get better. One day the time also came when I passed B.Ed.
Now on this basis, I can understand that whenever there is a problem in life, and if I am right, that is, I am with the truth, even if I am alone and no matter how many problems come in front of me, I will definitely succeed if I keep trying without fear. Now I do not see this line written on the back of the vehicles. It may appear later, but when such a situation arises, I definitely remember this line and keep doing my work keeping it in mind. By the way, this line is not only for me, it is equally important for you too.
But there is no need to be happy just by thinking this, along with this also have to think whether the truth is made only to be disturbed. After all, life has to be lived properly and happily. What to live if you live always with problems and without being happy. Here I would like to give the example of Mahabharata that it is believed that Pandavas were right and after fighting with all the difficulties, they also achieved victory, but could that victory give them that happiness? The answer is "No" because they did not like the victory achieved by shedding the blood of their own people and again they left the Rajpat and went to exile. Similarly, today we also have to think how to live life with the spirit of humanity and happiness.
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