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What is the remedy for the feeling of "I can't do it" and despair?

"I can't" say this reason, say this line, say a thought or say an excuse. It is special to most of us or should I say almost all people. Especially because it is very easy to say and it has been with us since our childhood, this line gets bigger with us. Some people erase this line over time, while some people enlarge this line so much that it acts as a restriction in the ways of living life more than the border.

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I remember when I was a student of class XI and it was only a month since I got admission in that class and also made a new friend who used to sit with me in the class. We used to eat tiffin together even in breaks and used to roam together. Once we were walking in a school garden. While walking we both reached the middle of the garden where there was a big and wide drain through which the rain water passed. We both had to go across that creek. I jumped and crossed that creek but that friend of mine stayed the same and kept watching I said "man jump and come". 

What is the remedy for the feeling of "I can't do it" and despair?

He said-" I will not, I am quite heavy, you are light and fit." I said- "what is the matter with heavy in this? You will do it man, what is this big drain? You jump right." I told him this thing with such confidence that he jumped and came safely across it and also started looking at me as if he want to say that yes I can do this, I was scared in vain. There was a look of happiness and confidence on his face. Actually, the reason for not being able to do it was that line inside him that "I can't" which was increasing in him with time and so was the surrounding environment.

He was very chubby in appearance and most of the friends in the class used to make fun of his condition and he also accepted that he was like this, so he would not be able to do sports like running. By the way, it is also true that most of the people around us and the environment keep reminding us of our weaknesses and mostly it gives us the negative feeling that we are not worthy enough to do any special work and Most of us also believe that we will not be able to do it.

It is also true that we cannot succeed in everything, but trying is always in our hands. Without trying, it is not right to assume that we will not be able to do it or that we are not worthy of that particular thing. We may not be able to succeed in something but what we try for that thing never goes waste. We get experience by trying, and whatever we have learned during our efforts, it comes in handy at some point or the other in life.

This life is not based only on pass-fail, success and failure. Life is life, it is on your effort that how correctly and happily you want to live and are trying. It is also worth noting that you want to live happily and you are trying as much as you can, but by comparing yourself with others and hurting the hearts of yours because of the people around you. After hearing things and being disappointed, do not assume that "I can't". If you have tried for something and if you have failed in it, then avoid cursing yourself as much as possible and also from the negative talk of others and try to calm yourself and think that the next step What should happen because what was supposed to happen has already happened, wasting time and regretting it will not help you.

What is the remedy for the feeling of "I can't do it" and despair?

If seen, success and failure are not really in our hands. We have to try, perform well, try better and different when we fail, learn something from failure and move forward according to ourselves and not according to others.

That's why it has been said in Bhagwat Gita that do your work, don't worry about the result. Because we have to do the work in our hands. The result is not in our hands at all. Doing work means not doing anything, doing good deeds, making good efforts. It is the work of time to bear fruit. It is not that the task of bearing fruit is of time and it is not in our hands, so we do not have to do anything. We shy away from trying in our life because we are afraid of the result and also afraid of what people will say.

You must have heard that Hindi song that Kuch to log kahenge, logon ka kaam hai kahna. And it is also true that when people come to say, especially on your failure in something, it is as difficult to control yourself while listening to them as if you are balancing on a thin wire and People want to make you fall by diverting your attention. You may find people's words very bad, but keeping yourself under control, you have to take the right decision according to yourself and for yourself and keep trying.

By the way, I also believe that people should not say anything about anyone, but then I think, keep explaining to whom. If people had to understand, then people would have understood that great men like Mahatma Gandhi and Gautam Buddha came and went in this world. It is better that we understand ourselves and never stop trying.

Related to this, I remember an incident from my school days. It so happened that in those days there was no monitor in our class. And there were four contenders to be the Monitor. Our class teacher conducted a poll to find out the solution. I can say that this was the first voting in my life for which my classmates and I did not have to be adults and this was the first voting in my life. All we had to do was to write the name of the person out of the four that we wanted to make a monitor on a slip and submit it to the class teacher. The one whose names appear more often was to be chosen as the monitor.

Everyone wrote their names on the slip and submitted it to the head. One of my classmate got more votes and sir announced that he will be the monitor. Sir left after the class was over. After his departure, everyone was congratulating that new monitor and telling that we had voted for you. When I congratulated him, he said to me, "Friend, everyone is saying that everyone had voted for me. If everyone had voted for me, then I should have got all the votes. Who are those who did not vote for me?"

I said - "Yes man, it is true. I feel that those who have not voted for you are also saying that they have voted for you only. But brother, I had voted for you only. Let the rest go now, man. You have become a monitor, what's the matter?

By saying this I made him happy but the truth is that I also did not vote for him. After this I would suggest pranks and I would sit near all of them one by one and put my hand on their shoulders and say - "It is a matter of great regret that you have lost the election. Would you like to say something about this?" Those people would start laughing by bowing their heads on the bench and would lovingly chase me away. When I went to the third one to have fun, he was already ready and on seeing me coming near him, waving his hand said - "Hey, don't come here, go from here."

I said with a smile - "Hey, what happened, there is no time for goodness. I had come to share your sorrow. I am very sorry to know that you lost the election." Saying this, I clung to him and I sat down with my hand on his shoulder. And he kept laughing by keeping his hands and head on the bench and hiding his face and kept saying -"You go from here."

So friends, the thing to think about is that I was making fun of them but they were better than me because they were lost but at least they tried what was in their hands. It was in my hands to try but I did not try. And losing that small election did not end the opportunities in their life. Those people didn't get fed up with my jokes, didn't leave the class, didn't cancel the admission. Don't know how many more opportunities would have come in their life in which they would have got success as well as failure. As far as people are concerned, like I told that classmate that I don't know about the rest, but I had voted for you only. But the truth is that I did not vote for him, similarly it happens in our real life as well, we do not know who thinks about us from inside and what he does for us behind our back. It is in our hands to try, to work properly. If we start paying attention to people's words, then we will never be able to know our goal, nor will we be able to focus on it properly.

Many times such occasions must have come in your life when you would have felt that if I had done the same, then today I would also be being respected. It doesn't matter if you don't get success, at least you would have tried.

So friends success, failure is not in our hands, what people think about us is not in our hands. It is a different matter that everyone's words should be listened to and understood as well. Whether someone's words are good or bad, you must try for what you want to do well in your life and always try to be happy.

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