Understanding - Father, Son and Parents Meeting
Children also gradually begin to understand emotions if, instead of being harsh on them, you interact with them like a good friend. Talk to them about right and wrong without any pressure or stress, and instead of scaring them, treat them with love and simplicity.
I felt this the day I took leave from work and accompanied him to his school for the parents' meeting.
He was already afraid of the parents' meeting the night before. But I know his weakness. My wife was also present when he was afraid of the parents' meeting.
I said, "What's there to be afraid of? I know you'll receive two kinds of complaints: one about your writing, and the other if you've done something mischievous or wrong. I'm already making you practice writing every day."
Seeing and hearing all this, my wife also looked at her son and smiled.
It was decided for the next day that if my wife got leave, she would also go with me. If not, she would call and inform me. After that, I would have to go alone, taking my son along.
The next day I was ready and my son was excited because he knew that father would treat me with love and would also take me out somewhere after the parents meeting.
My wife called and said that she would not get leave. Now I would have to go with my son.
When the time came, I took my son with me and set off on my motorcycle towards the school.
As we headed towards the school, I felt a little scared and tense, just like I used to feel during my school days during parents' meetings.
But now I also understand that everything is never perfect. I am not like my parents who will get tensed and make a fuss.
I'm here at the meeting to cooperate with his teacher and understand what's missing and what needs to be done. Thinking this, I control my fear.
What happened at the parents' meeting was exactly what I expected. My son's result was slightly better than average due to writing problems but he knew everything orally.
I discussed this issue with his class teacher, and my wife also spoke with her on the phone. After all, my wife is also a teacher at another school.
Before the teacher could say anything, I told her that he had a writing problem and I make him practice writing every day after returning from office.
After the meeting, my son started playing and jumping on the school swings. I took some photos with my smartphone and walked away with him.
My son insisted on eating something from the school canteen. But the place he thought was a canteen was actually the dining area for the hostelers.
I told him that this isn't a canteen; food is prepared here for the hostelers and it's a place for them to sit and eat.
My son mentioned a friend's name and said he buys food from here. I said, "Maybe he bought it from here, but it's a holiday, so it must be closed. Let's get it from outside."
After visiting the school, we father and son set out on our motorcycle to roam around a bit and have something light to eat.
Actually, until a few years ago, I was very strict about all these things. During my school days, I would go straight home from school, and during my college days, I would also go straight home from college. Even in my old job, in the early days, I would go straight home after leaving the office.
As time passed, I realized that I used to be engrossed in my books and now I'm living like a machine. Because of this, life started to feel boring and burdensome.
Now I understand that life is about working a little, but also about living freely.
What's gone is gone. Now, I don't miss any opportunity to travel and enjoy life a little, like today, when I'm taking my son to the market in this area.
But before taking him to the market, I took my son to two temples and showed him the sights.
Although I no longer believe in temples, mosques, or anything like that as much as I used to. But I bow my head with reverence everywhere. Because I've been connected to temples, God, and the like since childhood and have grown up in such an environment, I feel an emotional connection to them all.
When I think logically today, I feel that there's definitely a God or some energy that runs the world, but it's not as the world has spread the rumor. But still, I'm taking my son to the temple because I can think so logically today, also because no one has ever stopped me from listening to or watching religious matters.
I've learned not only about Hinduism from my family, but also about almost every religion during my school days. I've read about them all.
I don't stop my son from visiting temples or any other such places, thinking that if I had been stopped, I would never have been able to gather accurate information and think the way I do today. I might have been a blind devotee or held a fundamentalist ideology.
I'm also able to think logically because I was allowed to study everything, and I know what's right and wrong.
If I were to stop my son today, it would only generate more interest in him. It's better to let him experience everything and provide him with information. Regardless of anything else, any religion imparts moral values.
These various religious books and stories have also contributed to the moral values I've developed.
After visiting both temples, I took my son to an electronics mall to show him the evolving mall culture in today's market.
My son was insistent on visiting the mall, and he hadn't been to one before. It seemed he had been wanting to visit one for a long time.
I thought, let's take him to the mall. After all, it's my duty to give him experience and information about everything, as well as an opportunity to travel, and I never miss such opportunities. Whether I buy something or not, I do travel and gather information.
A Gujarati friend of mine gave me this guidance.
This was back when I was in Gujarat a few years ago for work, and he was my roommate. During my holidays, he would often take me to nearby malls. One day, while walking, when I asked him, he told me that whether I buy something or not, I should keep roaming around to find out what's new in the market.
And ever since, I've followed my friend's advice wholeheartedly. It allows me to travel, relax, and truly gain insight into the products on the market and their prices. And looking at the prices, I realize how poor I am.
Well, after taking my son to the mall and assessing my poverty, I took him to a nice restaurant. After ordering his favorite dish, I lovingly explained his shortcomings and how he could improve them. We then continued to talk about random things. After a while, his favorite order arrived, and he began to eat. I took a bite and got lost in my thoughts, while he continued to eat.
Although I'm very happy with him and try my best to live life openly and happily with him, so much has happened in my life so far that, upon realizing it, I become very serious and lost in myself.
Same thing happened that day too.While the son is eating,I got lost in my thoughts. Sometimes I think about my career which is a little better than before but the future is very clear and there is hope for much better things in the future but the present is full of challenges. By the time I understand one challenge and think of a solution, another challenge arises and on top of that I miss the village a lot and last night there was some bad news from the village. I was engrossed in all this when suddenly I heard my son's voice saying, Papa, you should also eat. I looked at him, he was looking at me.Looking at his expression, it seemed he was realizing that Dad was sad and I was eating alone, not him.
Well, I was surprised because I know he's a glutton and doesn't like to share his food with anyone.
That day, I suddenly felt strange seeing his behavior. I told him to eat, "You eat, I won't eat all this." Then he said, "I'm full, I won't eat anymore." His response also surprised me, because he'd never said anything like this before, nor had he shared food without being asked.
When I paid attention, I realized that my son, who will soon be eight years old, is having an impact on the way I interact with him and explain everything to him in a casual and friendly manner. In other words, this change in his temperament is due to the current circumstances he's experiencing as he ages.
It's true that instead of being strict with children, be as friendly as possible and explain the good and bad things to them without any pressure. This will bring about a positive change in their behavior and they will start respecting and caring for their elders without anyone telling or teaching them.
What happened next was that we, father and son, rode our motorcycle towards home. But the son was a little scared of his mother and said, "Why did you make my mother talk to the teacher? She will get angry at me after coming home after knowing about my writing." Then I explained to my son that I have already talked to your mother about this, she won't get angry, just concentrate on your practice and improve.
And finally, this is what happened. My son came to me in my room jumping with joy and said, "You were right, my mother did not get angry and she asked me to practice every day."
Apart from this, I have also given a separate book for my son to practice writing, in which he practices daily and due to this his writing is also improving.
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